Bereaved Birthdays Birthdays are a time for celebration Not a time for tears But what happens when the birthdays No longer mark the years A birthday marks the moment A spirit enters earthly life To share its special love and joy And learn from earthly strife Before a spirit comes to us, It Knows when and how it must depart It chooses its path carefully, We are honored from the start The sadness we now feel on such a joyous day Is longing for our loved one's touch It's natural to feel this way For even though the birthdays No longer mark a spirit's stay Love continues on forever To touch us everyday I hug my precious memories Close to my heart And honor my beloved spirit child Who chose me from the start Author unknown
Help Me To Know Me Lord, Help me to know me. I used to know me well. I knew just who I was and where I wanted to be. I looked forward to the future, for life was good,you see. With my loved one by my side no mountain was to high, no burden to heavy to bear. I always trusted you and you were always there. But then one day I lost my love, and my world came tumbling down. I reached out for an anchor, but no anchor could be found. I cried out to you Lord, but I heard not a sound. No peace could I find, nothing to ease the pain. When the grief became so great it seemed more than I could bear, I stepped outside myself and watched from afar. It was like looking through a glass and watching me go on. I no longer had to feel, my life was not my own. I know you must have spoke to me and tried to hold me tight. But I just wouldn't listen Lord, I wanted my loved one back. I know you didn't leave me, you've been here all along, waiting for me to step back in and claim my life again. The trouble now Lord is that I don't know who I am. I don't know how to live since my world turned upside down. I just want to be what you would have me be. But I need you right now Lord, to help me to know me. Reatha Crow
tears from me Ben's signature from Lori , she sent me quite a collection 2003
a piece of birthday cake for you!
I miss you on your birthday, Not only for your smile, But for the piece of me that's gone, Left within your care. I'm in an empty hallway And have been for awhile, Gazing inwardly towards home, Neither here nor there. ...... How imprecise the instant Held hostage by my tears! Though Time may seem insatiable, I have you in my heart. Copyright by
So Few Realize What Life Is About So few realize what life is about. If I knew nothing else, I knew warmth, pleasure, Despite everything, I knew love. People look for what they can measure: A degree, money, children they can brag about, Reasons others might wish them mazel tov. On days like other days were moments I treasured, Life like other lives, humdrum, passing without Yammering, with you, with the children, full, enough Copyright by
Copyright © 2002 Train Wreck Central 2
She was sent by Papaw Joe to wish Ben a happy birthday, along with several others 6/2002
Today is your birthday without candles and cake. And since you are not with us, we will not celebrate. We cannot send you a birthday card, your hands we cannot touch. So we ask God to give a message to the one we love so much. And grant us one wish and make it come true. To have His choir of Angels sing Happy Birthday to you. Author Unknown
I had Ben at age 17 and grew 2 inches after that so guess you could say we grew up together literally. Being very introverted, the doctor that delivered him would tell me that if I didn't start talking Ben would never learn to talk, lol. Ben had no problem with learning, that's for sure, but he was a very quiet child so the doctor was right. The first 2 years of his life we were alone so the bond, undoubtedly strong. He was a real healthy little guy and many would say he should be carrying me instead of me carrying him. that's all I can do, sorry. For those of you who visited last year, there aren't many changes but please take the time to sign the guest book. 6/2003
It's your 35th birthday, 5th in heaven and only God knows how much I miss you & look forward to seeing you.
In The Shadow of My Despair You have no idea just how I feel unless you're in my shoes no way you can comprehend the depth of sorrow in my blues. The shock carried me away when my child died a cloud like calm enveloped me as friends hugged me and we cried. They then felt the bitter pain putting themselves in my place envisioning the loss of their child as they gazed upon his face. They at once realized how vulnerable one can truly be how painful that reality was brought clear for them to see. To see such a beautiful child laying cold and lifeless in his funeral bier strikes terror in any parents' heart that their child could too expire. Uncomfortable people don't know what to say so you hear, "if there is anything that I can do..." feeling helpless in a situation so difficult to get through. So many people often exclaim, "I don't know how you do it, I love my children so awfully much there is no way I could get through it." My God! Does this mean because I am calm, I love my children less? How else could I handle it, under such great duress. God grants us a little time a short period that we are numb with shock to attend to funeral arrangements and the ability to even talk. It is when the wake is over the funeral said and done the graveside interment finished or the ashes scattered in the sun. These acts of life's finality start to erode the facade of calm and the reality of my great loss breaks down God's numbing balm. It is said that grief takes time at least two years most experts agree before a semblance of normalcy will start to return to me. At times I feel quite normal in fact almost good and then the boom is lowered as I expected that it would. Intense pain then returns and racks my very soul depression I have never known before starts to take its toll. The real world fades away... people talk and are not heard apathy surrounds my being it's difficult to utter a word. Tears flow in a sudden flood with deep convulsive groans wails of torment escape my throat that vibrates from my bones. As an exhausted shell of myself I feel washed out and spent the intensity diminishing from this scenario of my lament. I slowly then recover and feeling better in part it seems a great weight has been lifted temporarily from my heart. It is these intense feelings other people do not perceive not realizing the profundity of pain that each day I do receive. Their lives go on as before with a modicum of change their petty priorities seem unimportant that in their lives they do arrange. I have a lowered tolerance for trivial problems that people exclaim no time for their trifling complaints or who won the baseball game. I understand that it is my perception it is no fault of their own but I cannot help the way I'm feeling caught in this "grieving zone". I wonder how long it will take before I lose a friend because of my intolerable moods that could put a friendship to end. I think that friends that truly care will always be by my side and in the shadow of my despair their love will still reside. It may take several years before I can stand tall again and I will thank God for the loving arms of the people I still call a friend. Sent to me by Donna, sometime ago. You can meet April the daughter she lost here . She had "to my REAL friends" in the subject line.
This page was last updated: May 18, 2010